20.I am dating a girl, her parents hate me (over 2 years now). Sheloves me and I love her. They say I am not good enough, because I am notwhealthy enough... I don't "bow" to them... and I disagree withthem on some biblical principals. We have gotten to a point where ourgrowth together is hindered by her parents. What should I do? (thesituation has become absurd). Am I out of line to ask her to choosebetween me and them?

Answer: In a wedding ceremony, the officiating minister asks the first question:"who give this woman to be married to this man?" The Father who takes thebride to the altar usually answers: "Her mother and I do." The Christianwedding ceremony teaches that a woman needs to have the parental consent tomarry the man standing at the altar waiting for her.

I advise you to do something to win the hearts of her parents. In thebible we find that Jacob loved Rachel deeply. He proposed to her fatherLaban: "I will work for you seven years in return for your daughter Rachel."(Gen. 29:18) That seven years seemed like only a few days to him becauseof his love for her. Are you willing to do something like that? True loveis expressed in labor and sacrifice.

You said you do not bow to them. But Jacob bowed down to his brother Esauseven times. He instructed his two wives and children to bow down to Esau.He also presented large droves of cattle and sheep as gifts to Esau toappease his animosity. Jacobı strategy was successful. (Gen. 33:1-11)

Also use this circumstance to examine your own life. If there are someshortcomings in your character, conduct and ability, strive to correct themby God's grace. Christians can earn others' respect by their good conductand ability.

Most parents don't just look at the wealth of their future son of law.They look for other qualities such as honesty, diligence, faithfulness,dependability, wisdom, humility, maturity, the desire to grow, etc. If youare not wealthy enough for them, at least you can become good enough forthem. Strive to develop good Christian virtues in your life. Saving somemoney for your marriage will also help. (G.L)