9. Since death means "go home" or "go to paradise", why do people show sorrow instead of being joyful for his or her relatives "going home"? Why not say "congratulations" instead of "sorry"? (Y.Z.)

Answer: Death means "go home" only to the true believers of Jesus Christ. In the last night before Jesus left the world, His disciples were very sorrowful. Jesus was going home, but the disciples showed sorrow instead of joy.

Jesus comforted them: "Do not let your hearts be troubled. Trust in God; trust also in me. In my Father's house are many rooms; if it were not so, I would have told you. I am going there to prepare a place for you. And if I go and prepare a place for you, I will come back and take you to be with me that you also may be where I am. You know the way to the place where I am going." Thomas said to him, "Lord, we don't know where you are going, so how can we know the way?" Jesus answered, "I am the way and the truth and the life. No one comes to the Father except through me." (John 14:1-6)

Strong and mature Christians have joy, peace and hope in their hearts when their believing relatives go home. But there are many weak, ignorant and immature Christians in the world. Like the first disciples, they are sorrowful instead of having joy.

Paul comforted the new believers in Thessalonica whose relatives had died: "Brothers, we do not want you to be ignorant about those who fall asleep, or to grieve like the rest of men, who have no hope. We believe that Jesus died and rose again and so we believe that God will bring with Jesus those who have fallen asleep in him." (1 Thess. 4:13-14) After we have believed in Jesus Christ as our Savior, there is the process of spiritual growth. We need to grow in the knowledge of God's truths (salvation, resurrection, heaven, God's kingdom, etc.), and grow in the loving relationship with God. Mature Christians know the reality of God's presence and His perfect love everyday. The apostle John said: "There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear." (1 John 4:18)

But unfortunately many Christians remain childish for many years after they have accepted Christ as their Savior. That is the reason they have sorrow instead of joy. The secret to overcome fear and sorrow in the face of death is to become mature in faith, love and hope. Christians do have a blessed hope (Titus 2:13) The Bible talks a lot about the glory of heaven and God's kingdom. The more we know about the glory of God's kingdom, the less we will have sorrow when our believing relatives leave this world.

We don't say congratulation to the believers who have lost a relative, because we are still human and have our weakness. There may be a mixture of joy and sorrow. Deep inside we have joy because the relative is now with Jesus in paradise. But outwardly we may still have sorrow, because we no longer have sweet fellowship with this loved one. We can draw an analogy from a family preparing for a son/daughter to leave China to come to America. The parents usually have a mixed emotion. They rejoice with their son/daughter for having the opportunity to advance in career and to explore the new world, but there is also some sadness in the heart for fear that they will not see the son/daughter again. (G. Lee)