D.T.R. -- Loving Jesus Style

By Philip Gee

John 21:15-17

Introduction

1. This has been a record year in terms of officiating weddings- from Memorial Day to the end of November, I would have been involved in four of them.

2. One question I always ask a couple is for the history of their relationship- from the day that someone was interested to where they are today.

3. I have discovered that relationships go through six passages or stages:

Acknowledgement- you have some knowledge that the other person exists- whether through a friend, family, or pure observation- your attention causes you to gather covert information but have never met

Acquaintance- you succeed in communicating with the other person and it develops into a friendship of varying degrees- you exchange e-mail addresses, cell phone numbers and polite conversations; 'Friend'

Appreciation- at this level, there is an attempt to do things together and enjoy being with the other person- you being to have shared experiences

-----Then comes the 'DTR' (Determine The Relationship) talk-------

Alliance- in the old days we called it 'going steady' while today we say that there is that 'significant other' (wedding invitations have your name and 'guest' written on them)- you share each other's meal

Affection- this is when love is no longer a verb but a state of being and usually culminates with marriage- you share everything.

Allegiance- the maturity of a relationship that says that you are willing to die for the other person. You begin to invest together, share your losses together because you have each other for support.

4. The Bible says that believers are to love one another in good & bad times.

a. You see, it is easy to love someone or something when everything works in your favor. But it is the difficult times that challenge us to examine the level of the relationship. 'DTR'

b. At the end of John's gospel, Jesus has a little 'DTR' talk with his disciples because they have gone back to the fishing trade after the resurrection.

c. Perhaps they are embarrassed because 'when the shepherd was struck, the sheep scattered.' Peter had denied him.

d. Perhaps they were lost without a leader. This is Jesus' 3rd appearance.

5. The gospel of John was written by the disciple whom Jesus loved. His thundering character has been tempered by the Master to the point that he is entrusted with caring for Jesus' mother, Mary. Now, John closes out his gospel with the account of Jesus restoring Peter in a loving way.

6. We often tell non-believers to read John because it is written so that people may believe. But it is also written for believers so that they will move forward in their faith and act out in their trust in loving others.

7. The challenge for DCCC with 3 worship services is to maintain a sense of unity and love as one church. But this obstacle can be turned into an opportunity because loving one another has little to do with going to the same worship service but has everything to do with our willingness to love others as Christ commands us. God designed us to be relational beings.

This was now the third time Jesus appeared to his disciples after he was raised from the dead. 15 When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs." 16 Again Jesus said, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me?" He answered, "Yes, Lord, you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Take care of my sheep." John 21:17 The third time he said to him, "Simon son of John, do you love me?" Peter was hurt because Jesus asked him the third time, "Do you love me?" He said, "Lord, you know all things; you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my sheep.

Point: Our actions demonstrate the depth our love.

Loving God's way means....

I. Doing what God demands. v. 15

When they had finished eating, Jesus said to Simon Peter, "Simon son of John, do you truly love me more than these?" "Yes, Lord," he said, "you know that I love you." Jesus said, "Feed my lambs."

A. Jesus, the carpenter is telling the disciples who were fishermen to be shepherds!

1. There is a change from initially being called from fishers of fish to be fishers of men and now to be shepherds of the Church.

2. Fishing is easy- all you need to do is catch them but being a shepherd means caring for the needs of the sheep so they thrive.

B. Loving God means desiring what God is passionate about.

1. God desires none to perish but to have a saving knowledge of the Savior.

2. God also desires us to grow and bear fruits of righteousness 30, 60, 100 fold.

3. Question: Do you know what God's will? Spend time with God through the reading and meditation of His Word, praying and worship.

a. It is a choice we must make.

b. It is a willing obedience.

II. Treasuring what God finds precious.

.... do you truly love me more than these?" v.15

A. Jesus is asking for a rearrangement of their priorities. 'more than these'

1. Peter was a fisherman, before meeting Jesus, that's all he knew how to do.

2. John records that they caught 153 fish- typical of a fisherman. The highlight of the summers when we lived in America was to visit my mother's side of the family that lived in Idaho and we would go fishing. They would remember how many fish we caught each time.

3. Too many people try to make a big deal out of the number of fish- it is the number of dots equally spaced within a 17-dot equilateral triangle, others think it represents all the people groups of the world because in those days they thought there were 153 kinds of fish, still others figured out that it was the number when you add 'Simon' (77) to 'Icthus' (76).

4. The simplest way to understand the number is that they were fishermen and they knew how many fish their nets could hold.

5. This is John's personal account into a challenge from Jesus, the Lord.

B. God challenges us about our love relationship- are we willing to put God's people and His work a priority?

1. It may be as simple as putting worship ahead of travelling on Sunday.

2. Not compromising our testimony even if the activity may lead to a promotion or job security.

3. Maybe God is challenging you about serving him and asking you to let go of those pursuits that directly conflict with your love for God.

4. Parents- be as interested in their spiritual well-being as their grades in school; Pray for our children to marry a Christian, not just Chinese!

5. Many scholars think that John spent time in Ephesus before being exiled in Patmos and it was Ephesus that was challenged to return to their first love.

C. There is a correlation between the vertical (God and Man) and horizontal (Man and Man) relationships of a believer.

1. Three times Jesus asked Peter of his love for the Lord and three times he told Peter to feed his sheep.

2. Peter is asked to feed Jesus' sheep. The emphasis is on what God treasures: my sheep.

3. Jonah tried to bargain with God by providing an alternative mission site, Tarshish. Nothing wrong with Tarshish, probably had a lot of people who needed to hear from God and repent, but that is not what God wanted Jonah to do.

III. Repeating what God does.

'Feed my lambs..' v. 15 'Feed my sheep' v. 16 'Feed my sheep' v. 17

A. Our love ought to minister to others: 'feed.''Feeding' is another way of saying 'Ministry' that nurtures.

1. The disciples during the Last Supper were debating who would be the leader. They were thinking about themselves not the needs of others.

It was just before the Passover Feast. Jesus knew that the time had come for him to leave this world and go to the Father. Having loved his own who were in the world, he now showed them the full extent of his love. v. 1

"You call me 'Teacher' and 'Lord,' and rightly so, for that is what I am. Now that I, your Lord and Teacher, have washed your feet, you also should wash one another's feet. I have set you an example that you should do as I have done for you. John 13: 13- 15

"A new command I give you: Love one another. As I have loved you, so you must love one another. 35 By this all men will know that you are my disciples, if you love one another." John 13: 34- 35

My command is this: Love each other as I have loved you. 13 Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends. 14 You are my friends if you do what I command. 15 I no longer call you servants, because a servant does not know his master's business. Instead, I have called you friends, for everything that I learned from my Father I have made known to you. John 15: 12- 15

B. I am loving like God loves when my affections are.. John 15

1. Sacred: 'WWJD' is an instinct, not an inquiry.

Love each other as I have loved you. v. 12

2. Sacrificial: Giving, not getting, is the motive. v. 13

Greater love has no one than this, that he lay down his life for his friends

3. Submissive: The emphasis is on obedience, not obligation.

You are my friends if you do what I command. v. 14

C. Ways to deepen our love

1. C.S. Lewis "To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart certainly will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to be sure of keeping it in tact, you must give your heart to no one. Lock it up in a safe in a casket or the coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket- safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken but it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. The only place outside of heaven where you can be safe from all the dangers of love is hell."

2. Challenge:

a. Schedule a regular/monthly prayer walk with God.

b. Invite a neighbor's family for dinner or desert as a witness.

c. Pray through the church's directory (one page a day).

Conclusion

A story is told of a man on a Japanese island who was cunning in his dealings and not liked by any on the island. Through a series of events, that man came to know Christ but the more he tried to make amends, they more that the people despised him. So, he decided to move from the village on the coast and work on the hill top so minimize his antagonism with the people. It happened on day that as the farmer was working his field, he could see from his vantage point, a coming tsunami, a tidal wave, that would kill all the inhabitants of the village below on the coast. He ran down to warn the people but they thought of it as a ploy. So, in the end, the farmer had no choice but to set his fields on fire causing the people to rush up the hill to stomp out his fire because it may spread to the village below. It was only then that the villagers saw the coming tsunami and thus the village was saved. But it began with the sacrifice of the farmer to rescue others. For the first time, the village really knew that the man had changed and really loved them because of his actions.

Title: D.T.R. -- Loving Jesus Style
By: Philip Gee
Series: Loving the Brethren
Date: 9/7/03