THE RED CARPET TREATMENT -- Becoming a Warm & Friendly Church

By Philip Gee

3 John 3-8

Introduction

1. In 1936, Dale Carnegie wrote a best-seller which is still in print today- "How to Win Friends and Influence People." One of the sections is entitled, "Six ways to make people like you"

1) Become genuinely interested in other people.
2) Smile.
3) Remember that a person's name is to that person the sweetest and most important sound in any language.
4) Be a good listener. Encourage others to talk about themselves.
5) Talk in terms of the other person's interests.
6) Make the other person feel important - and do it sincerely.

2. " Six ways to MAKE people to like you."

a. By nature, we are narcistic, lovers to self. If you do not believe me, what's the first thing you look for in a group picture? We judge the quality of a picture by how we look in it!

b. In the advent of TVs, internet, and fenced-in homes, we do not socialize with our neighbors like we used to. How many of us know the first and last names of our neighbors and what they do for a living?

c. I asked a visiting African pastor what he thought of life in America and he concluded that Americans are very individualistic. Even the worship songs are filled with "me" and "I."

d. We have to work at making friends so we take seminars and workshops!

3. Our theme this year at DCCC is "Brotherly love."

a. And it begs the questions, " Are we indeed a warm and friendly church?" "Do we sense that we are loving so that an outside observer feels welcomed?" "What are the signs of a warm and friendly church?"

b. Fortunately, we are given a glimpse of church life and hospitality from the third letter of John written to a certain Gaius.

c. John starts with noting how hospitality affects our reputation with outsiders but will conclude (9/28's message) that the lack of hospitality is rooted from within- it is an inward problem.

d. Turn with me as we look into the commendations the Apostle John lays on Gaius for being a gracious host. Next week, we will look into the rest of third John and study the two other individuals addressed in the letter in regards to their warm and friendly habits. Turn to III John 3- 8.

1 The elder, To my dear friend Gaius, whom I love in the truth. 2 Dear friend, I pray that you may enjoy good health and that all may go well with you, even as your soul is getting along well. 3 It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth. 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth. 5 Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. 6 They have told the church about your love. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. 7 It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans. 8 We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth.

Point: Warm and friendly church welcome visitors as guests.

Welcome habits of a warm and friendly church:

I. They balance orthodoxy with orthopraxy. vv. 3- 4

3 It gave me great joy to have some brothers come and tell about your faithfulness to the truth and how you continue to walk in the truth. 4 I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

A. The context of this letter is either John is sending this letter as an introduction to the band of travelling missionaries or that he is writing to commend them for their work as evidenced by their reputation that has reached John's ears.

1. Twice in two verses John mentions the joy he has in what he hears.

2. He has already alluded to the fond relationship he has with the church and especially Gaius though we are not certain if John has ever been there.

B. Our behavior must match what we believe.

1. But note the equal attention to orthodoxy and orthopraxy.

a. 'Orthodoxy' refers to having the right doctrines.

b. 'Orthopraxy' refers to having the right practices.

c. Gaius is commended for having both the right doctrines and habits.

2. There is a direct correlation between beliefs and behaviors.

a. Living in the computer age, we are saturated with information.

b. There is so much information out there that we have to have games like 'Jeopardy,' 'Trivial Pursuit' and 'Who Wants to be a Millionaire.'

c. And the Church gets sucked into the knowledge syndrome because our ministries are so informationally driven with Bible studies & sermons.

d. We need to balance it with our actions. I am proud that our youth group yesterday went out and did 'random acts of kindness' by passing out food to the homeless.

C. It can happen in the church!

1. What do outsiders think about us and our meetings?

2. What does God think when He evaluates our Christian life- do we run from one meeting to another or is there balance in living it out in our ministries and how we interact with the community?

II. They bless others like only God can. vv. 5- 7

5 Dear friend, you are faithful in what you are doing for the brothers, even though they are strangers to you. 6 They have told the church about your love. You will do well to send them on their way in a manner worthy of God. 7 It was for the sake of the Name that they went out, receiving no help from the pagans.

A. When we moved here, you all have been ever so helpful.

When we moved here, you all have been ever so helpful in pointing us in the right direction as to the location of certain shops and restaurants. Inevitably, people will tell us where the best Chinese or Mexican food is or who has the best produce or meat. The point being that once we go to that certain shop or restaurant, we will go to no other because we will be deeply disappointed if we did.

B. What is DCCC best about that people cannot get any other place?

1. To John, Gauis provided the hospitality that no one else could.

2. Gaius entertained strangers!!! Believing strangers.

3. John then states the obvious just to remind the believers that non-believers will not entertain believers.

4. Local churches sometimes forget that there is a Church worldwide.

a. We ought to be a refuge for believers because they are part of the body of Christ.

b. As much as we research all the tourist sites of where we want to visit, so ought we spend some time finding a church to worship if we stay over on Sunday. This helps us and our children to see the overall scope of the church-at-large.

C. We need to treat people in 'a manner worthy of God.'

1. Some churches have a segment of their worship service where they greet each other. It breaks the ice because we're suppose to be a family but we treat each other like our own family and not as God's family.

2. In what way is our corporate worship corporate? Or would we be better off worshipping in front of a TV because we get the same interaction?

III. They bask in the opportunities to minister to others. v. 8

8 We ought therefore to show hospitality to such men so that we may work together for the truth.

A. Networking is critical in today's world & God's kingdom if we want to survive.

1. When I travel to conferences, I carry a stack of my business cards because you never know whom you will meet. It not what you know but whom!

2. When you go to a Sunday school convention, vendors will give you a bag to help you collect business cards and toys, pens, and nick-knacks that bear some ministry's name.

B. We need to see that our welcoming of others is just part of our contribution to the world-wide work of God.

C. How we can be a more warm and friendly church: GUEST

oGreet others. We need people to come early to greet our visitors.
oUse your vocational skills to aid your social skills.
oEnlist in a small group or fellowship.
oStart coming to church 15 minutes earlier to visit.
oTry smiling more often.

Conclusion

I would like to testify to the power that first impressions put on our visitors with the stories of two men: Steve and Chris.

Steve came to our church because he was looking for other Chinese to hang out with. He was not a believer and he came from England. He was a contract worker and was here for just a year. Next thing you know, his contract was up and he moved off to another town in another state. We kept in loose contact through the e-mail and, one day, he sent me his testimony and an invitation to his baptism. He later went on to China to learn Chinese and would spend the weekends witnessing to people through a bike ministry. Now, he is an American citizen, serving through the armed forces, and and just returned from a tour of duty in Iraq. Steve has gone out to places I will never venture to. I did not have the opportunity to lead him to the Lord but I would like to believe that our warmth to him allowed him to seek God and that his search led him to Christ through the ministry of some other group of believers. But we had a hand in the process.

A couple of years ago, my former church changed its welcome procedure from Polaroid pictures to a digital camera. The welcome committee handed me a large shoe box filled with old Polaroids. On one of those bored afternoons, I decided to look through the pictures and figure how many of those visitors ended up become consistent members. To my shock, one of our worship leaders had visited our church some seven years earlier while he was in college, single, and sporting long hair. I asked what made him come back and stay to which he told me that since the initial visit was so good that he decided that when he moved back into the area, he would join the church. It was an eight-year investment that started with a warm and friendly welcome.

1. Is there a balance of orthodoxy and orthopraxy in your life?
2. Can you say that you are a blessing 'in a manner worthy of God?'
3. Do you see meeting people as a form of ministry?

Title: THE RED CARPET TREATMENT -- Becoming a Warm & Friendly Church
By: Philip Gee
Series: Loving the Brethren
Date: 9/14/03