HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND REPEL PEOPLE -- Part 2 of Becoming a Warm & Friendly Church

By Philip Gee

Introduction

1. Growing up, whenever we were in the Untied States, our family would spend at least a week in Idaho where my mom's side of the family farmed. Aside from driving a tractor, I always looked forward to fishing. One thing I learned about fishing is that you have to patiently figure out where the fish are and what bait works. One way is to figure it out yourself or you just follow where the other boats are and watch. Serious fishermen carry all kinds of jigs, lures, and plastic whatever-you-call-them because you never know what fish are hungry for that day.

2. Fortunately, God has called us to be fisher or people and we do not have to guess what people like because all we have to do is to ask ourselves what attracts us to associate with a group of people.

3. With the university just starting, it is time to get our nets out because people are looking for a spiritual home. Like what you hear on an airline, people have choices and we need to do all we can to draw people- not to ourselves per se but to Jesus Christ because not everyone who comes knows Jesus Christ.

4. We have been on a short series on being a warm and friendly church.

a. We started by saying that it begins with understanding that it comes from our love relationship with God and our love for others as we saw in Jesus' reinstatement of Peter to the ministry in John 21.

b. 3 John is an evaluation of three men in how they treated visitors.

c. Then a couple of weeks ago we looked at 3 John where the Apostle John affirms Gaius of his care for the traveling missionaries.

d. Finally, this morning, we will look at the rest of 3 John as we discover how NOT to be a warm and friendly church and what we can do to remedy the situation.

9 I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first, will have nothing to do with us. 10 So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us. Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers. He also stops those who want to do so and puts them out of the church.

11 Dear friend, do not imitate what is evil but what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God. 12 Demetrius is well spoken of by everyone - and even by the truth itself. We also speak well of him, and you know that our testimony is true.

13 I have much to write you, but I do not want to do so with pen and ink. 14 I hope to see you soon, and we will talk face to face. Peace to you. The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name.

-Gaius gave the 'Red-carpet' treatment. vv.3- 8

-Diotrephes loved to pull the rug from under others. vv.9-11

-Demetrius was the Church's Doorman. v.12

CP: It is a sin when God's people do not feel like family.

I. Four signs that you should NOT join the hospitality committee.

A. Loves to be first. v.9a

... I wrote to the church, but Diotrephes, who loves to be first,

1. Puts own concerns above others- narcistic.

2. Cannot play second fiddle to nobody- "My way or no way"

B. Loathes confrontation/listens to no one. v.9b

...will have nothing to do with us....

oouk epidecetai- to not welcome or accept authority

C. Loose with lips. v.10a

...So if I come, I will call attention to what he is doing, gossiping maliciously about us....

1. logoiV ponhroiV- speak evil words

2. fluarwn- to talk nonsense about, babble, bring unjustified charges against

3. Cannot hold confidence and prone to gossip

D. Lacks compassion. v.10b

1. Rejects visitors and guests

...Not satisfied with that, he refuses to welcome the brothers.

2. Restricts others (controlling)

... He also stops those who want to do so...

3. Repels people in the church

...puts them out of the church...

II. How to rekindle that warmth and friendliness. vv.11-12

A. Recognize that being unfriendly and unwarm is not God's heart.

'do not imitate what is evil.. v.11a

'Do not let this bad example influence you. Follow what is good. Remember that those who do good prove that they are God's children, and those who do evil prove that they do not know God.' v.11 NLT

1. A story is told of a frog and a scorpion trapped on a lily pod during a heavy storm. The scorpion begged the frog to give him a ride on his back across the pond. The frog refused citing that the scorpion would probably kill him with his stinger. The scorpion promised to not sting the frog because we would be grateful for saving his life. The frog agreed to allow the scorpion to swim on his back as he crossed the pond only to be stung by the scorpion. As the poison began to take effect, the frog said, "I thought you promised." To which the scorpion responded,"I am sorry, to kill is my instinct."

2. We should have a warm and friendly disposition because we have a different nature- a Christ-like one because we are God's children.

B. Repent and do what is right.

but (imitate) what is good. Anyone who does what is good is from God. Anyone who does what is evil has not seen God. v. 11b

1. To repent is not just to say or feel sorry but to actually have a change of heart and do something about it.

2. If we do not see that being inhospitable is sin then we will never desire and make the effort to change.

C. Restore your heart for people.

-God designed to be relational beings!

1. Communicate v.13 'I have much to tell you...'

-Reach out and touch someone.

2. Contact v.14 'I hope to see you...face to face..'

-Join us for the tea and cookie time after service and before Sunday school.

3. Convey God's peace v. 15a Peace to you.

-Encourage others with what God can only give)

4. Care for the community v.15a

The friends here send their greetings. Greet the friends there by name.

-You think you may not need others but others need you!

Conclusion

1. The mission statement of McDonald's is that "we are not a hamburger company that serves people, we are a people company that serves hamburgers." They realized that there are dozens of corporations that sells hamburgers but what sets them apart is their workers. That is why they had a 'smile' campaign where they actually trained their staff to smile.

2. God is in the people business. People are the only creation that bears his image. We are called to reach the Lost whom God loved so much that he sent his son to die for.

3. We can help the cause by the way we treat visitors and those who claim Jesus Christ as their Savior.

4. Are you hospitable enough to set an example for others to follow? Because we need more Gaiuses and Demtetriuses to draw, welcome, and keep visitors and guests into this great church family we call DC cube.

Title: HOW TO LOSE FRIENDS AND REPEL PEOPLE -- Part 2 of Becoming a Warm & Friendly Church
By: Philip Gee
Series: Loving the Brethren
Date: 10/12/03

Davis Chinese Christian Church 536 Anderson Road Davis, CA 95616, USA